The start of my new year didn't quite begin as blissfully imagined. But that's the journey of life. On January 8th, 2021, my father, Tony, passed due to Covid 19 complications at the age of 74 years old. I knew his time was close, but I didn't expect him to die without being surrounded with immediate family as he passed peacefully in his sleep. I was hoping and imagining to have a couple more years with him, as we were approaching the date of him getting his new prosthetic leg. This man was a fundamental figure in my adult life, as his words of wisdom always came across through hardships, change, joyous moments, challenges, and even during family concerns or issues. My Dad's role was always to set me straight in life, in my relationships, professional and personal, he always gave his opinions, and sometimes not invited ones.
He was always there, even if just a phone call away. My Dad was my FaceTime buddy on a every other day basis. We spoke of family, food, how his day went or is going to be. But we never always agreed, and once in a great while, he was a tough one to take. I always commended my Mother as a strong woman to have to deal with his moods, in all honesty. But he is known to me as someone that will always help no matter what. A very generous man, he sacrificed for his family.
As his eldest daughter, I never truly understood the uneasiness of his personal health ailments, until I stayed with them for eight months in the year of 2018, after Trinity's passing in December 2017. I needed him and Mom again then. He was there, even not knowing or being mindful, that I truly needed him to just be my Dad. That year, I appreciated him and my Mom more than ever, for showing their never-ending emotional support. I saw first hand what it was like to live with his condition, the daily doses of multiple medications, not having the regularity of being as mobile, he needed a walker. I knew in my heart that my Dad was unhappy with his lifestyle due to his health, but we pushed him on. Always trying to make him remember why we need him around, especially for my dear Mom. I cherish those months, like it was his last days.
The on-going eye opener in my experience of losing a parent, even at this old age, is that life is short and very uncertain. My God gives me the strength to not feel sad for my family's tremendous loss, I will infinitely remember you Papa. You are not to be forgotten. I hope that Trinity finds you and cherishes you as her grandfather. We love you forever and ever. May you rest in peace.
love your daughter,
marissa